Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Doctors...(cardio update and vent!)

I'm so sick of doctors.  I'm sick of them telling me there's something wrong with my little girl.  I'm sick of them referring me to another specialist to have another test run at another office. The cardiologist, ophthalmologist, allergist, pediatrician and now a geneticist?!  Immunizations, weight-checks, blood testes, ultrasounds, new medicines and lots of hypothesis. All because she's petite...."there must be a reason." Our recent visit to the Cardiologist (bi-annual visit) prompted all this hostility when he suggested we see a geneticist to see if H has some sort of "syndrome" linking her petite size with her heart abnormality.  Seriously?!  He then proceeded to comment (and laugh!) about how small she looked in comparison to me (being so much taller).  Really?  She's a BABY!  Idiot.  Ugh.  Deep down my mom-gut is telling me that this little girl is perfect, that she doesn't have any type of "syndrome" but that her food aversions are caused by her silent reflux.  The one thing all the doctors seem to be brushing off.  Though I think it's being controlled, I can still hear it coming up into her throat and she's constantly congested and coughing.  Some days she eats very little and only eats a few bites all day.  She refuses alternative milks, but I'm so thankful to still be nursing her!  I have no idea how small she would be without the nutrition she's getting from my breastmilk.  No one seems to take her reflux seriously, the doctors seem to blow it off and though I keep pointing it out, no one seems to see it as cause for concern or the possible root of all of this.  SO, in January, at her 18 month well-check, I'm going to request that we see a GI specialist.  Yes, I know that means seeing another doctor, but I feel like this time it would be worth it.  I'll keep you posted, I'm just a little frustrated about all of this.  Dinner is a constant struggle for us, blanketed by and overwhelming sense of anxiety.  Everything I have read about establishing a positive relationship with eating and food says that parents are responsible for putting the food in front of the child and the child is responsible for putting the food in their mouth.  Sounds simple, but when your toddler is spitting out everything, crying or simply soothing herself by sucking on her fingers at each meal, you can't help but stress out about it.  I found a lot of things I could relate to in this blog entry I found.  The truth is that her weight is on the low side, but her height is very average.  So, the bottom line is that she IS growing.  She's so smart, creative, driven, strong-willed and SO beautiful.  She's our little girl and we thinks she's PERFECT!  I just want to hear, for once, that a doctor thinks so too...

They gave her a little "hospital gown" to wear and I have to admit that it was pretty stinkin' cute!