So much has happened in our lives in just a matter of a few months. In the almost 10 years that Dr. M and I have been together, a lot has happened. It's been a roller coaster of emotions recently. A surprise pregnancy almost a year ago was the beginning of the crazy ride (little did we know). Just 9 months later we found ourselves as a family of four and moving cross-country. What is it about me being pregnant and us moving?! So, here we are. In Alabama. We said good-bye to our friends and family and are living in a city where we literally know no one. Dr. M was fortunate to receive an offer from what he says is his "dream job," and I'm still staying home with the babies. It's been about 2 months now and can't tell you how much I miss my family and friends right now. I've never lived this far from home and I miss my mom, who I haven't spent much time with in the past 6 months. I just don't feel like we've found our "groove" down here yet. I still get lost in this city, don't know where anything is or the best way to get there and having two kids just makes everything harder. I also forgot how hard it is to have a newborn. The crying, sleeplessness and guessing games are starting to wear on me and Dr. M. A friend said that moving made her and her husband's relationship stronger, but I'm not sure that's the case for us. We have very little time for just the two of us. Financially, this move has almost cost us our entire savings and we're left living pay-check to pay-check. I feel helpless not working and so wish I could do something to help, but Dr. M assures me that staying home and taking care of the kids is the best job for me right now. I miss working so much. I miss the social outlet, the adult conversation and the feeling of importance and accomplishment. Can't believe it's been 2 and half years since I've worked. I've either been pregnant or nursing for the past three years (and I plan to continue nursing for at least anther year). I recently (yesterday) started running at a local park and enjoy the time to myself in the morning, but feel exhausted the rest of the day and my legs feel like jello. I've met some other moms, who are great women, but can't help thinking that the only thing we really have in common is the fact that we're mothers. To make matters worse, several weeks ago we found out that a dear family member is very ill which was an emotional shock to all of us. Despite the way this all sounds, I'm optimistic that this city will be great for us in the long run...I'm just anxious to get to that point. Right now, I'm trying to live my life one day at a time, tell my family how much I love them, be the best mother and wife that I can and stay as positive as possible. I started this blog as a way for family to keep up with our lives but I'm not sure who actually reads it. I like to think of it as an online journal and baby book. A place to record our milestones. I love looking back at past entries about the babies and our lives and see what I was thinking and feeling. That's why I'm adding this post. Not for sympathy, but so I can look back years from now and see how far we've come!
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Moen Family
- Andrea
- As new parents, everyday of our life is a great adventure. So buckle-up and join us for the ride!
6 comments:
Thanks for this post, Andi...it's hard to admit when things aren't 100% perfect, but I feel that it's so important to get out that frustration and sadness somehow. I wondered how you were, living all the way down there after you'd been in Missouri, and so close to family, for so long. Your families must be missing you four like crazy.
I can't know what it's like not to work, but I bet I'd be going nuts too. I'm not nearly as social as you, even, but I couldn't spend day after day alone or with kids who I couldn't have an adult conversation with. I'm glad to hear that you're meeting other moms though! The more you meet, the more likely you'll be to find one you have something more in common with. After all...when I met you, the only thing we had in common was that we lived next door to each other. :)
Are you into crafting at all? I've found several friends through scrapbooking, and I know other artsy-types find each other through local craft/sewing stores that have get-togethers. Cooking classes are like that too.
Thinking of you...and thanks again for sharing. I'm always a reader!!
genny
Thank you, Genny! Feels good to get the bad out too sometimes. Like a weight off my shoulders. After writing this, we went to a university event last night and I met some educated woman who actually have more to talk about than babies and church....which was promising. I do love crafting! I had a great group of crafty (and crass!) girls in STL, but haven't thought of looking here. Good idea! I'll have to see what I can find. Thanks for thinking of me (and reading) :) Hope you are doing well!
Andrea
Now you know I follow your post and perhaps you are wanting to hear more from your friends, but know I always throw great and comforting thoughts your way. You are a fabulous mother, wonderful wife to my son and I respect and admire you so much. Good friends take time to cultivate, you will find plenty in T-town. People are drawn to you.
You might try a running group or volunteering at art events. Good thoughts and love coming your way.
Andrea, oh how I miss you! And if I'm the friend you were referring to, we didn't have small babies when we moved away. It was just the two of us and I got to sleep through the night and go running when I wanted to and explore our new city by myself without having to worry about where I would nurse. I wish I was there to help you. :( And we didn't realize how it helped our marriage until AFTER we had moved back almost 2 years later. Give yourself grace.
And I LOVE reading your blog. I try to comment and sometimes it doesn't work because our computer sucks.
This post actually motivated me to go ahead and publish the post that I wrote over a week ago...I just need to finish writing it.
I really want to plan a weekend to come and visit you - it would be so fun to check out Tuscaloosa with you.
*Virtual hug from Missouri*
Thank you, Amy. A hug is really what I think I need :) I just finished reading your post (before seeing this comment, actually). It does feel good to know we're not alone and that no one is as perfect as their facebook status says they are. I hate that I feel like time is flying by and I'm standing in mud. I miss work too. Would love to see you and go exploring together. You are an awesome mother - think of all that you've made it through! You are an amazing friend too :) Thinking of you.....HUGS!
Andrea,
I feel your pain... we have had a rough few months as well with moving, me not having a job, and spending all our savings as well. I have met some great mama's too, but it just doesn't feel the same as it did back home. I only feel connected bc we are moms not for anything else which is so frustrating to me. Moving definitely has brought us closer together as family though. We have each other and that is what keeps me going everyday. It will get better! Things are starting to set in for us... I FOUND A JOB that I actually like - OUT OF THE RESTAURANT BUSINESS...
Glad things are starting to get better for you(last post).
Call me anytime to chat, we are in the same boat here. :-)
Thinking of you!!
Angela
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